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Life of a simple man... [entries|friends|calendar]
Nirvana is overrated.

Taught that everyone else is dirty...
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(fuck my ass)

That thing that happens to everyone else... [Wednesday
March goddamn 6th @ 4:39pm]

Happiness? yeah, that... I want some, too.


por favor?


(fuck my ass)

Ughhhh [Sunday
February goddamn 24th @ 10:58pm]


I hate him whole heartedly. Which I know comes from the exact opposite emotion.


Don't play games with me, dude. You're missing out. I've got a long track record of awesome.


Shyton Goldsby, you are an asshole. Enough to make me randomly come back to my teen journal. Hope you choke on your guilt when karma stomps out your precious throat... Dick.
Youre going to miss me and never really get to experience why.
Over and out.


(fuck my ass)

Dear Domino's Pizza, [Sunday
March goddamn 28th @ 9:33pm]
What is this "better" bullshit?!

I don't know what you assholes did to the crust of my beloved pizza, but it's fuckin' horrible! After 9 years of being my favorite pizza chain, I resign.

Please remove thineself from my memory, knave!

(fuck my ass)

Ugh!!! [Sunday
June goddamn 15th @ 9:28pm]
I have an awesome guy that wants to do everything in the world he can for me... but I can't stand him.

Is it normal to be freaked out by someone liking you too much?
I get the creeps when all people do is tell me how I'm the perfect person for them and constantly saying "I love you" and that "i want to be with you forever"... It creeps me and my roommates out.

And another sad thing.
I miss my ex. My two times ex.

I really feel like after all this time, that's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just wish he didn't have a girlfriend. It makes me want to cry knowing I messed that up, but oh well.

After the first break-up... we didn't speak for a few months and then I missed him terribly. He moved states for me. And I took it for granted.

Ugh, it's killing me. I love him with everything I am, and I feel like such a dumbass for letting him go again.

And, I never give a shit about any of my exes like that. I miss him so much it's pathetic. I seriously just want to cry. It's been a good year anyway. Fuck it.

(fuck my ass)

There's some kind of light at the end... [Monday
May goddamn 5th @ 1:23pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Well, I'm a sporadic LJer, I know.. but quick update on teh old lunch break at works.
I still work full-time security to get me some free edumacation. Which, no, I haven't started yet. I'll be finished paying my momz off for replacing my engine this month! Yay!!!!
But, I have to pay a few hundred dollars into taxes before I can afford books and what not.
I've seriously met the love of my life/soulmate. His name is Chris, he treats me like I'm the best thing in the world to happen to him, next to his childrens. :D Which is awesome. His daughter thinks I'm the coolest person ever. Which, I kinda am. Hahah
I got a compliment from her, 7 years old, "I'm glad my daddy has a girlfriend that knows what she's doing, is willing to play with me and isn't stupid."
I'm pretty sure that's a good compliment from a seven-year-old who loves her daddy. :D
I love him to death and he loves me the same. My Mr. Muffinfuck. :D
Life is good, although I'm poor as shit! 21 has been awesome so far.
Oh, yeah, and I have a part-time job bartending at a shitty hole-in-the-wall bar. And, yikes, this is the Creep Club Extraordinaire. el yikes.
That is all.
Uh, hit me up on teh myspace. I use it waaaay more.

(fuck my ass)

Hey, guess what! [Tuesday
February goddamn 5th @ 6:06pm]

(2 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

Copied from myspace bulletin I posted: [Sunday
January goddamn 13th @ 8:15pm]
Okay, so I went to a laundry mat for the first time since I killed that hooker back in '01... and what the fuck?!

The machines don't take change or cash.. you have to get a laundry debit card.. that only takes cash, no change - and not the new ten dollar bills.. (????)

The costs to wash and dry are random. 1.49 for a wash and .23 for a dry? What the hell is this madness?

Oh, and the best part:
A sign in the glass by the door when you walk in, reads:


Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy?

(fuck my ass)

Last updated. [Saturday
October goddamn 20th @ 12:36pm]
[ mood | violated ]

31 weeks ago.
...and when it comes to actual information... and counting.

(fuck my ass)

March 9th. [Tuesday
March goddamn 13th @ 1:16pm]
Lamb of Motherfucking God. Love them.
them, gojira and machine head were amazing.
Trivium = ghey.

Blue October is March 23rd. I might have to sell two tickets because I bought tickets for my friends that said they could go... but now they don't have a ride as of this moment.

I didn't get to see Jennifer at the concert... I was up front and center. Beat the hell out of a girl and had to fight a guy to remain in my area.

It was a bad ass concert. I'd forgotten how much a concert can boost your mood for days and leave you with a glow.


I don't know what else to say. I have to poop and leave for work in about thirty minutes.

(2 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

Free Edumacation [Saturday
November goddamn 18th @ 8:47am]
So, I suppose this Security training thing is going pretty well.

I've done the being maced thing - which is the most intense pain I've ever felt in my life. And the first time an hour really felt like an eternity.

I passed my unarmed and armed state CLEET exams. Unarmed with a score of 94 and the armed with a score of 92.

Went to the firing range - where I shot my first gun ever. A Smith and Wesson Revolver. I made a score of 100 on my first practice qualification round. After that, I qualified my first try with an 80. The second day I did horribly shooting.

My instructor is probably the coolest old guy I've ever met. He's awesome. He's fair, honest and doesn't sugar coat anything. He recognizes everyone for their accomplishments, but has no problem telling everyone what they've done wrong.

He recommended me to apply for a Security job at the University of Tulsa. I went in for an interview on Thursday, and they loved me. Granted I pass the credit portion of the background check, I'll have me a job.
One of the greatest benefits? Your first year of working for TU security, the University pays 50% of your tuition. The even better part is, after a year of being employed there, they will pay 100% of your tuition.

The University of Tulsa is a prestigous private school, with some of the best programs in the nation. And one of the most expensive schools in this area. It's about 40,000 dollars a year... and if I just work for them one year, it's all free.

I hope I get this job. I'm excited.

(fuck my ass)

Xanga user, ahoy! [Friday
September goddamn 1st @ 10:05am]
[ mood | Stupid cold! ]

Yes, I am indeed a xanga user. Obviously way more than here.

So, I went to group testing for Trase Miller Technologies yesterday at 11AM. I would love to work there. Starting pay at 9.00 per hour, free vacation trips considered ongoing job training and 401k and insurance benefits after three calendar months of employment. Easy job, obviously casual dress. there were flip-flops, graphic tees, capris, jeans, everything abound.

But, the training is 8-10 weeks long, every monday-friday from 8-5. And, well, I'm starting Security training on the 11th. :D

Yes, me. I'm going to be getting mased in the face, handcuffed violently, go through Physical training (which I desperately need), and all of that good stuff. I'm in love with the uniforms. The pants are BAMFs (bad ass mother fuckers), and we get aspbatons and handcuffs and mase and great stuff. For some reason, I love how the pants look with them tucked into the boots they give us.

We had an awards assembly yesterday.
I got three this time. One for being an Outstanding Dorm Leader, For quickly persuing success to better my future or something like that and one for the outstanding work I've done for student records. That award came with a 20 dollar bill. I liked that.

Though, I didn't finish the job stuff (a scenario message we were supposed to leave on their phone where a customer's departure time for the flight had changed by ten minutes, blah blah blah), I still want a job. But one I can work in the evenings or nights so that I can do my training day in Security from 8-4.

I'm thinking once I complete Security, I'll take Pharmacy Technician and if they have a new instructor, Medical Office Transcription. I wonder, if they have a way I can take one trade per week. Switching on and off, since they do that with the people in acedemics for their GED or diploma. I could handle Pharmacy and Security at the same time. It'd be BA.

I'm just rambling because it's been so long since I've been on here.
And for the record, On the 25th, it was 4 months of me being here. And I've been done with Business for almost two months. Four weeks and one day. Their 6-8 months training time can blow me. That's for stupid people. I'm here to do what I came to do, finish, get a job, go to college and move to the city.

I've decided since there is so much I want to do in my life, I'm going to just take Business Administration for my first round in college. I want to go to Cosmetology school, and school for Biochemistry, and school for criminal justice and respiratory therapy.

I'm going to die before I complete all of this, but at least I'll die trying, right?

that is all.. leave me comments, or go to my xanga and be my bestest friend ever.

I've missed you turds.



(fuck my ass)

Holy Fuckin' Hell [Tuesday
July goddamn 18th @ 6:21pm]
I must say, it has been quite some time.
I'm enrolled and living at the Tulsa Job Corps Center.
Anyone want to write me letters? :D I'll love you forever.
It's so fucking hot here and it's a drag to walk all the way to the Rec. Center from dorm. It's insane how when you're outside, you'd rather drink sheep piss than have to stay out there, but once you're inside you want a jacket. They keep our dorms colder than hospitals.
Fo' reals.

I'm almost complete. I'm working on my Work-Based Learning and then I'm transferring to Guthrie to take Pharmacy Technician Training just for the hell of it and hopefully start college next whichever semester I choose/can get into.

I love being a favorite, I'm in the same room as one of my best friends since forever and it's the size of a room for four people, but it's a two-man room. I guess it pays to just be awesome and not get on their nerves by being a suck-up.

Did I mention that I hate the heat with a fucking passion? I can't wait until they get the Computer lounge set up on dorm, so this can all be avoided.

I've been here since April 25th, but just got back Sunday, from a three week break. Which was fabulous.

Uh... leave me comments people, it might encourage me to continue updating this along with my xanga. :D

Um... other than that, sorry I've been gone so long to all communities that may be reading this and I shall become active once again, though I'm not lucky enough to be able to use picture hosting sites with this gay ass Websense filter. Bastards. But, uh, I'll try.

OOH, and I cut my hair and dyed it again.
www.xanga.com/iskeepsitreal - there's only two pictures there, but they'll suffice.. right?

Anywho, talk to me people.
E-mail me, text me... SOMETHING. This place is quite boring.

Cell: 9184240034
E-mail: you_bring_the_herpes_i_got_the_syphilis@hotmail.com

(5 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

Blue October's "Foiled" [Saturday
March goddamn 25th @ 11:33pm]
Let me be the first to say, I fucking love this entire album.

That is all.

(2 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

March goddamn 12th @ 9:31pm]
Community PromotionCollapse )

(4 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

Myspace, anyone? [Sunday
February goddamn 12th @ 7:24pm]

Deep Donkey Crew

Gays Up, Straights Down. Bitch.

Can&apos;t Fuck With the DDC
Click the extremely sexy picture to view profile!

Oklahoma City's Premier Gay Communist Rap Group

(2 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

Current Disposition: Hating every minute of my life [Wednesday
February goddamn 1st @ 3:30pm]
[ mood | stressed beyond belief ]

This is the last day of the seven-day period I've come to hate.
Who said 2005 was awful? I hate 2006.
Wednesday - My pitbull puppy, shitass, was stolen.
Thursday - My phone got cut-off, temporarily(at least I thought, at the time.)
Friday - Turns out my mom doesn't want to cough up 140 dollars for me to go to the doctor and get my back/neck/jaw checked out. Twelve dollars more than what she makes in one day at her job.
Saturday - Pretty fun.. still having slight depression from previous days' events.
Sunday - 5AM.. in OKC, car breaks down. Completely. Get stranded in the entrance of a huge car lot(after being pushed bumper-to-bumper by a random security person not even from the area. Cops come to "help?". I'm high. They call a tow-truck which I can't afford.. so I beat the car into submission enough to get around the block.. out of the road into a parking lot. I let the car rest thinking it would restart again in a few hours like it normally does and runs fine. Nope. It starts, alright, but only to break down at the stop sign that leads onto a very busy street. Get pushed by rare kind stranger (very rare in OKC obviously) back into parking lot. I was supposed to be at work at 8 AM. Mom gets up to finally get us at 1:30PM.
Sunday (cont'd) - Lost my job for not being there when scheduled. A job that I actually really, really fucking liked.
Monday - Officially informed I lost my job.
Tuesday - Applied for Job Corps (what else do I have? Nothing. Exactly.) and turns out I can't get in until I get my warrant in Tulsa taken care of. Call about paying said warrant/fines off and I have to go to court again to have the judge even consider me being able to pay it off. I have a huge phobia of going to court and being thrown in jail. (I worry about this with everything.. traffic tickets included.)
Wednesday - Get my w-2 in hopes of filing rapidly and getting the money to take up to court and pay at least a large portion of said fines.. fill out the tax form (I even tried it online) and they're giving me way fucking less than expected. Bullshit.

I had this huge dilemma yesterday.. Get my tax retuns and buy a new car or pay off fines and continue with trying to get into job corps. Now, my huge dilemma is my life. I can't do anything with what they're giving me back. Nothing. But, obviously, my past week doesn't justify as everything sucks. Oh no, my mom's week was worse. You know why? Because "she had to drive to oklahoma city and she didn't want to." Boo fucking hoo.

I've seriously never felt this fucking down about anything ever. I feel like an emo fag. I actually cried the other night (and the night before and yesterday) and fell asleep. I don't recall every stopping with the sobbing, so I cried myself to sleep. Pathetic. I've screamed, thrown and hit things so much in the last few days that I feel like Courtney Love during a withdrawal.

Maybe I'll lose weight. I obviously can't control anything else, so why not try something that I can control.

I hate this. I hate life. I hate me (at the moment.. other times I'm pretty fucking awesome.)

I'm worthless at the moment. I have no money, no job, no car, no phone, no dog.. and I'm not even good company.

My birthday is in four days. YAY! I have a feeling I'm going to hate being nineteen.

...it can't get any worse from here...

(fuck my ass)

Fuck the lj-cut. [Monday
January goddamn 16th @ 6:19pm]

A new rating community. But this one is different, This community is for stoners, drug users, and drinkers. A lot of these rating communities are a bunch of straight edge people who say no just because you do drugs. For the ones who do the damn do.
Join.. i_heart_cunts

(3 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

Jesus, tap-dancing, Christ [Saturday
January goddamn 7th @ 1:03am]
[ mood | drained ]

I fucking hate Carl's Junior.

Seriously, I'd like to find Carl himself and rip out his intestines through his throat like a tracheostomy. That bastard. Who's bright idea was it to leave a restaurant open until curfew for shitty teenagers? Bitch.

They shouldn't make girls be cooks either. That's way too much work for way too little pay. i need a new job.. or just out of this fucking town.

I think I'm going to go to job corps. This place sucks.

Fuck, I'm tired.

/exhausted bitching.
over and out

(1 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

What's wrong with me? [Sunday
December goddamn 25th @ 11:37am]
Yesterday I had christmas dinner at my great grandma's house.. and I didn't eat anything hardly at all. A few chips... a teaspoon of dip and a single bite of a brownie.

The day before? Two and a half saltine crackers. Which made me want to not eat.
I've been drinking lots o' liquids because that's pretty much all I want these days. And food irritates my throat and makes me gag and cough until I puke.

My jaw pops constantly... ow.

I don't know.. all of my clothes are fitting looser. I'm too poor for new clothes, this has to stop.

(1 called me a bitch | fuck my ass)

Greatest. Night. Ever. [Saturday
December goddamn 24th @ 12:40pm]
I was terribly excited that my favorite/funniest band was coming to tulsa, finally. A place where I can at least semi-drive.
We got there hella early too.. with stupid car trouble on the way. Damn smoke.
We sat outside forever, starving and what not for about two hours. They were having a christmas party inside that consisted of the owners and their families.. and dogs.
The lady owner motioned us inside and said she'd buy us a beer because we'd been waiting for so long... but then she realized we're not exactly legal to have beer so she gave us free entrance and free beverage.

they come in.
Yelling the ddc is in the house.

And they sat and talked to us.. and got up.. and then came right back and sat with us the entire time.
i rolled my first time with them.. kinda crazy but nossing happened except kissing so don't worry. We got lots of pictures... we did their new "lift your titty up" song with them... and I had to run onstage to retrieve my sunglasses because SOMEONE had to wear them on stage and then they flew off when they were pretending to hump each other.

Then they were going to go to the hospital with us to sing to ashley since she couldn't be there and she really loves them as well.. but no one was awesome enough there to know exactly how to get there from where we were. Shitty times.

But, it was absolutely marvelous. They crack me up. Funniest. Guys. Ever.
Best christmas present ever, too.

Must do that again.

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