Life of a simple man...

Ugh!!!

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 02:32:06 GMT

I have an awesome guy that wants to do everything in the world he can for me... but I can't stand him.

Is it normal to be freaked out by someone liking you too much?
I get the creeps when all people do is tell me how I'm the perfect person for them and constantly saying "I love you" and that "i want to be with you forever"... It creeps me and my roommates out.

And another sad thing.
I miss my ex. My two times ex.

I really feel like after all this time, that's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just wish he didn't have a girlfriend. It makes me want to cry knowing I messed that up, but oh well.

After the first break-up... we didn't speak for a few months and then I missed him terribly. He moved states for me. And I took it for granted.

Ugh, it's killing me. I love him with everything I am, and I feel like such a dumbass for letting him go again.

And, I never give a shit about any of my exes like that. I miss him so much it's pathetic. I seriously just want to cry. It's been a good year anyway. Fuck it.

There's some kind of light at the end...

Mon, 05 May 2008 18:28:40 GMT

Well, I'm a sporadic LJer, I know.. but quick update on teh old lunch break at works.
I still work full-time security to get me some free edumacation. Which, no, I haven't started yet. I'll be finished paying my momz off for replacing my engine this month! Yay!!!!
But, I have to pay a few hundred dollars into taxes before I can afford books and what not.
I've seriously met the love of my life/soulmate. His name is Chris, he treats me like I'm the best thing in the world to happen to him, next to his childrens. :D Which is awesome. His daughter thinks I'm the coolest person ever. Which, I kinda am. Hahah
I got a compliment from her, 7 years old, "I'm glad my daddy has a girlfriend that knows what she's doing, is willing to play with me and isn't stupid."
I'm pretty sure that's a good compliment from a seven-year-old who loves her daddy. :D
I love him to death and he loves me the same. My Mr. Muffinfuck. :D
Life is good, although I'm poor as shit! 21 has been awesome so far.
Oh, yeah, and I have a part-time job bartending at a shitty hole-in-the-wall bar. And, yikes, this is the Creep Club Extraordinaire. el yikes.
That is all.
Uh, hit me up on teh myspace. I use it waaaay more.
www.myspace.com/inmatetrish

Hey, guess what!

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 00:08:48 GMT

IT'S MY 21ST BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Copied from myspace bulletin I posted:

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 02:17:01 GMT

Okay, so I went to a laundry mat for the first time since I killed that hooker back in '01... and what the fuck?!

The machines don't take change or cash.. you have to get a laundry debit card.. that only takes cash, no change - and not the new ten dollar bills.. (????)

The costs to wash and dry are random. 1.49 for a wash and .23 for a dry? What the hell is this madness?

Oh, and the best part:
A sign in the glass by the door when you walk in, reads:

PLEASE WEAR A SHIRT WHEN YOU COME TO THE LAUNDRYMAT! NO SHIRT, NO SHOES NO SERVICE
ALSO WOMEN PLEASE WEAR A BRA
DO NOT WEAR
..PARJAMERS.. PAJAMAS

Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy?

Last updated.

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 17:37:51 GMT

31 weeks ago.
...and when it comes to actual information... and counting.

March 9th.

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 18:20:50 GMT

Lamb of Motherfucking God. Love them.
them, gojira and machine head were amazing.
Trivium = ghey.

Blue October is March 23rd. I might have to sell two tickets because I bought tickets for my friends that said they could go... but now they don't have a ride as of this moment.

I didn't get to see Jennifer at the concert... I was up front and center. Beat the hell out of a girl and had to fight a guy to remain in my area.

It was a bad ass concert. I'd forgotten how much a concert can boost your mood for days and leave you with a glow.

:D

I don't know what else to say. I have to poop and leave for work in about thirty minutes.

Free Edumacation

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 14:47:25 GMT

So, I suppose this Security training thing is going pretty well.

I've done the being maced thing - which is the most intense pain I've ever felt in my life. And the first time an hour really felt like an eternity.

I passed my unarmed and armed state CLEET exams. Unarmed with a score of 94 and the armed with a score of 92.

Went to the firing range - where I shot my first gun ever. A Smith and Wesson Revolver. I made a score of 100 on my first practice qualification round. After that, I qualified my first try with an 80. The second day I did horribly shooting.

My instructor is probably the coolest old guy I've ever met. He's awesome. He's fair, honest and doesn't sugar coat anything. He recognizes everyone for their accomplishments, but has no problem telling everyone what they've done wrong.

He recommended me to apply for a Security job at the University of Tulsa. I went in for an interview on Thursday, and they loved me. Granted I pass the credit portion of the background check, I'll have me a job.
One of the greatest benefits? Your first year of working for TU security, the University pays 50% of your tuition. The even better part is, after a year of being employed there, they will pay 100% of your tuition.

The University of Tulsa is a prestigous private school, with some of the best programs in the nation. And one of the most expensive schools in this area. It's about 40,000 dollars a year... and if I just work for them one year, it's all free.

I hope I get this job. I'm excited.

Xanga user, ahoy!

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 15:31:15 GMT

Yes, I am indeed a xanga user. Obviously way more than here.

So, I went to group testing for Trase Miller Technologies yesterday at 11AM. I would love to work there. Starting pay at 9.00 per hour, free vacation trips considered ongoing job training and 401k and insurance benefits after three calendar months of employment. Easy job, obviously casual dress. there were flip-flops, graphic tees, capris, jeans, everything abound.

But, the training is 8-10 weeks long, every monday-friday from 8-5. And, well, I'm starting Security training on the 11th. :D

Yes, me. I'm going to be getting mased in the face, handcuffed violently, go through Physical training (which I desperately need), and all of that good stuff. I'm in love with the uniforms. The pants are BAMFs (bad ass mother fuckers), and we get aspbatons and handcuffs and mase and great stuff. For some reason, I love how the pants look with them tucked into the boots they give us.

We had an awards assembly yesterday.
I got three this time. One for being an Outstanding Dorm Leader, For quickly persuing success to better my future or something like that and one for the outstanding work I've done for student records. That award came with a 20 dollar bill. I liked that.

Though, I didn't finish the job stuff (a scenario message we were supposed to leave on their phone where a customer's departure time for the flight had changed by ten minutes, blah blah blah), I still want a job. But one I can work in the evenings or nights so that I can do my training day in Security from 8-4.

I'm thinking once I complete Security, I'll take Pharmacy Technician and if they have a new instructor, Medical Office Transcription. I wonder, if they have a way I can take one trade per week. Switching on and off, since they do that with the people in acedemics for their GED or diploma. I could handle Pharmacy and Security at the same time. It'd be BA.

I'm just rambling because it's been so long since I've been on here.
And for the record, On the 25th, it was 4 months of me being here. And I've been done with Business for almost two months. Four weeks and one day. Their 6-8 months training time can blow me. That's for stupid people. I'm here to do what I came to do, finish, get a job, go to college and move to the city.

I've decided since there is so much I want to do in my life, I'm going to just take Business Administration for my first round in college. I want to go to Cosmetology school, and school for Biochemistry, and school for criminal justice and respiratory therapy.

I'm going to die before I complete all of this, but at least I'll die trying, right?

that is all.. leave me comments, or go to my xanga and be my bestest friend ever.

I've missed you turds.

<321trish

xanga.com/iskeepsitreal

Holy Fuckin' Hell

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 23:27:46 GMT

I must say, it has been quite some time.
I'm enrolled and living at the Tulsa Job Corps Center.
Anyone want to write me letters? :D I'll love you forever.
It's so fucking hot here and it's a drag to walk all the way to the Rec. Center from dorm. It's insane how when you're outside, you'd rather drink sheep piss than have to stay out there, but once you're inside you want a jacket. They keep our dorms colder than hospitals.
Fo' reals.

I'm almost complete. I'm working on my Work-Based Learning and then I'm transferring to Guthrie to take Pharmacy Technician Training just for the hell of it and hopefully start college next whichever semester I choose/can get into.

I love being a favorite, I'm in the same room as one of my best friends since forever and it's the size of a room for four people, but it's a two-man room. I guess it pays to just be awesome and not get on their nerves by being a suck-up.

Did I mention that I hate the heat with a fucking passion? I can't wait until they get the Computer lounge set up on dorm, so this can all be avoided.

I've been here since April 25th, but just got back Sunday, from a three week break. Which was fabulous.

Uh... leave me comments people, it might encourage me to continue updating this along with my xanga. :D

Um... other than that, sorry I've been gone so long to all communities that may be reading this and I shall become active once again, though I'm not lucky enough to be able to use picture hosting sites with this gay ass Websense filter. Bastards. But, uh, I'll try.

OOH, and I cut my hair and dyed it again.
www.xanga.com/iskeepsitreal - there's only two pictures there, but they'll suffice.. right?

Anywho, talk to me people.
E-mail me, text me... SOMETHING. This place is quite boring.

Cell: 9184240034
E-mail: you_bring_the_herpes_i_got_the_syphilis@hotmail.com

Blue October's "Foiled"

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 05:33:46 GMT

Let me be the first to say, I fucking love this entire album.

That is all.

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 03:32:29 GMT

Myspace, anyone?

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 01:25:25 GMT

Deep Donkey Crew

Gays Up, Straights Down. Bitch.

Click the extremely sexy picture to view profile!

Oklahoma City's Premier Gay Communist Rap Group

Current Disposition: Hating every minute of my life

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 21:46:12 GMT

This is the last day of the seven-day period I've come to hate.
Who said 2005 was awful? I hate 2006.
Rundown:
Wednesday - My pitbull puppy, shitass, was stolen.
Thursday - My phone got cut-off, temporarily(at least I thought, at the time.)
Friday - Turns out my mom doesn't want to cough up 140 dollars for me to go to the doctor and get my back/neck/jaw checked out. Twelve dollars more than what she makes in one day at her job.
Saturday - Pretty fun.. still having slight depression from previous days' events.
Sunday - 5AM.. in OKC, car breaks down. Completely. Get stranded in the entrance of a huge car lot(after being pushed bumper-to-bumper by a random security person not even from the area. Cops come to "help?". I'm high. They call a tow-truck which I can't afford.. so I beat the car into submission enough to get around the block.. out of the road into a parking lot. I let the car rest thinking it would restart again in a few hours like it normally does and runs fine. Nope. It starts, alright, but only to break down at the stop sign that leads onto a very busy street. Get pushed by rare kind stranger (very rare in OKC obviously) back into parking lot. I was supposed to be at work at 8 AM. Mom gets up to finally get us at 1:30PM.
Sunday (cont'd) - Lost my job for not being there when scheduled. A job that I actually really, really fucking liked.
Monday - Officially informed I lost my job.
Tuesday - Applied for Job Corps (what else do I have? Nothing. Exactly.) and turns out I can't get in until I get my warrant in Tulsa taken care of. Call about paying said warrant/fines off and I have to go to court again to have the judge even consider me being able to pay it off. I have a huge phobia of going to court and being thrown in jail. (I worry about this with everything.. traffic tickets included.)
Wednesday - Get my w-2 in hopes of filing rapidly and getting the money to take up to court and pay at least a large portion of said fines.. fill out the tax form (I even tried it online) and they're giving me way fucking less than expected. Bullshit.

I had this huge dilemma yesterday.. Get my tax retuns and buy a new car or pay off fines and continue with trying to get into job corps. Now, my huge dilemma is my life. I can't do anything with what they're giving me back. Nothing. But, obviously, my past week doesn't justify as everything sucks. Oh no, my mom's week was worse. You know why? Because "she had to drive to oklahoma city and she didn't want to." Boo fucking hoo.

I've seriously never felt this fucking down about anything ever. I feel like an emo fag. I actually cried the other night (and the night before and yesterday) and fell asleep. I don't recall every stopping with the sobbing, so I cried myself to sleep. Pathetic. I've screamed, thrown and hit things so much in the last few days that I feel like Courtney Love during a withdrawal.

Maybe I'll lose weight. I obviously can't control anything else, so why not try something that I can control.

I hate this. I hate life. I hate me (at the moment.. other times I'm pretty fucking awesome.)

I'm worthless at the moment. I have no money, no job, no car, no phone, no dog.. and I'm not even good company.

My birthday is in four days. YAY! I have a feeling I'm going to hate being nineteen.

...it can't get any worse from here...

Fuck the lj-cut.

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 00:19:13 GMT

A new rating community. But this one is different, This community is for stoners, drug users, and drinkers. A lot of these rating communities are a bunch of straight edge people who say no just because you do drugs. For the ones who do the damn do.
Join.. i_heart_cunts

Jesus, tap-dancing, Christ

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 07:06:17 GMT

I fucking hate Carl's Junior.
Ugh.

Seriously, I'd like to find Carl himself and rip out his intestines through his throat like a tracheostomy. That bastard. Who's bright idea was it to leave a restaurant open until curfew for shitty teenagers? Bitch.

They shouldn't make girls be cooks either. That's way too much work for way too little pay. i need a new job.. or just out of this fucking town.

I think I'm going to go to job corps. This place sucks.

Fuck, I'm tired.

/exhausted bitching.
over and out

What's wrong with me?

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 17:40:41 GMT

Yesterday I had christmas dinner at my great grandma's house.. and I didn't eat anything hardly at all. A few chips... a teaspoon of dip and a single bite of a brownie.

The day before? Two and a half saltine crackers. Which made me want to not eat.
I've been drinking lots o' liquids because that's pretty much all I want these days. And food irritates my throat and makes me gag and cough until I puke.

My jaw pops constantly... ow.

I don't know.. all of my clothes are fitting looser. I'm too poor for new clothes, this has to stop.

Greatest. Night. Ever.

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 18:47:18 GMT

I was terribly excited that my favorite/funniest band was coming to tulsa, finally. A place where I can at least semi-drive.
We got there hella early too.. with stupid car trouble on the way. Damn smoke.
We sat outside forever, starving and what not for about two hours. They were having a christmas party inside that consisted of the owners and their families.. and dogs.
The lady owner motioned us inside and said she'd buy us a beer because we'd been waiting for so long... but then she realized we're not exactly legal to have beer so she gave us free entrance and free beverage.

Then..
they come in.
Yelling the ddc is in the house.

And they sat and talked to us.. and got up.. and then came right back and sat with us the entire time.
i rolled my first time with them.. kinda crazy but nossing happened except kissing so don't worry. We got lots of pictures... we did their new "lift your titty up" song with them... and I had to run onstage to retrieve my sunglasses because SOMEONE had to wear them on stage and then they flew off when they were pretending to hump each other.

Then they were going to go to the hospital with us to sing to ashley since she couldn't be there and she really loves them as well.. but no one was awesome enough there to know exactly how to get there from where we were. Shitty times.

But, it was absolutely marvelous. They crack me up. Funniest. Guys. Ever.
Best christmas present ever, too.

Must do that again.

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 04:13:09 GMT

Oh well. I finally cleaned my room.. sorta. All of my dirty clothes are in a pile right in front of my bedroom door.

My mom cleaned my other room out that had a bunch of my random shit in it..

We're not getting along at all lately. I think I'm going to go live in my car. Anything to get away from her..

Ugh.. oh well.. I'm done bitching for now.. I think.

Mmhmm.

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 07:12:29 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARWEN.

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 01:18:07 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Tuesday I put gum in onlyxtemporary's hair (-12 points). In October I caught a purse-snatcher who stole miss_muffinfuck's purse (30 points). Last Sunday I didn't flush (-1 points). Last month I pulled over and changed i_think_not_08's flat tire (15 points). In January I donated bone marrow to _________lady in a life-saving procedure (300 points).

Overall, I've been nice (332 points). For Christmas I deserve a toy train!

Sincerely,
gsocks

Fuck yeah, bitch.

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 00:34:46 GMT

So, I was told that Ashley may get to go home by the time christmas rolls around. She's been walking and sitting up and all that good stuff. Ah, I'm fuckin' excited. I hope she really does.
Actually, since Ashley said she didn't want to live with jimmie and she may go live with her mom, hopefully CJ and lady will move down here with us since CJ hates wilburton so much he wants to run away and then ashley can live with lady. That'd be fabulous... but I'm only dreaming, I'm sure. Anywho.. yeah.. I just had to type about how she might be home for christmas... I'm excited.

I need to go make my christmas cards now... so they'll be fabulous at best.

Numb.

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 02:58:14 GMT

Isn't it strange how one event starts a chain reaction?
As of the 28th of this month it will be four months that my best friend has been in the hospital where she was life flighted to St. Francis the morning of the wreck (where the driver missed a curve and rolled up a telephone pole and flipped three times back across the dirt road wrapping up in a barbed wire fence) before I got out of the emergency room. I almost lost her so many times it was mindnumbing... but now, I know she's going to get better and better a little at a time. Not only is she my best friend of nine years... she also worked with me at a shithole restaurant that I don't care to name. We only have about 15 employees total at the most during one period of time.
Moving on to today.. I take about three times the dosage of Nyquil because i have a miserable cold and wake up to a voice mail from my job/friends saying "Trish, don't worry, I'm not asking you to come into work.. but I've got some bad news. Someone died today - call me back and I'll tell you who."
It turns out to be one of my favorite people I worked with. He'd always buy the whiskey for us to get drunk in the storage room and resume our jobs with a bit more courteousness. He always worked on my piece of shit car for me.. even in a thunderstorm behind our job.
Joe. The thing about it is - he got in a car wreck... missed a curve.. and hit a tree. His kids were in the car along with some other guy, I'm thinking it was his cousin... but who knows. Joe, the big, crazy savage with the mohawk. His kids were life flighted to St. Francis. Joe died instantly from the impact.
I hate these sorts of things. Why are they so hard to deal with? He wasn't my best friend or anything but I feel just the same as the day I got the phone call telling me they're calling everyone to St. Francis because Ashley wasn't coming out of her coma and her organs are failing one by one. Everytime something bad happens, it's in the same circle of friends or the same group of people. If only he had showed up at work all last week, right? He wouldn't have been terminated... and he would have been at work with us, like he always was on Saturday afternoons... getting drunk and listening to some stupid game on the radio. Not in a car.. missing a curve... dying and sending his two kids to the hospital a couple of hours away. I wonder if his little boys know how highly he always spoke of them.. and how he always said "he didn't care if he didn't get to eat.. as long as his kids were fed and happy everything was alright with him."
He was crazy.. but he was such an awesome person.

Joe, you crazy fucker, I already miss you.

Reeeeposted... but I added three pictures..

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 04:17:27 GMT

Me... a month ago.

THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 18:34:51 GMT

DAY 2: The Love of Your Life
-------------------------------
Today, gaze at everyone wondering whether they might be the one true love of your life, the one destined for you and you alone, and whether you might be passing them by forever... Act in consequence.

DAY 3: Today Throw Away Something That You like.

wxamples:
trophy
picture of your boyfriend
dildo
pink pony candle holder
car
pearl bracelet
sunglasses
remote control
furniture
blow dryer
hand cuffs
your keys
adio
guitar
pokemon plush, etc.

This Book Will Change Your Life

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 04:53:20 GMT

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

The Book will only help you if you want to be helped. Welcome it into your life and who knows what or who you'll be by this time next year. Ignore it and your life will continue in its current orbit. Now, of course, not everyone will be in a position to follow the instructions to the letter every day, and some are more demanding than others. But make the effort and your reward will be a year to remember, the first of many. Do not underestimate the difficulty of following the Book. Its dictates may seem arbitrary, but only thus can we counter the arbitrariness of fate.

______________________________________________________________________

Day 1: Warm-Up
As this is your first day, you should warm up with an easy task that will only change your life a little bit.

Choose one of the following options:

Do one press-up.
Perform a striptease (in private).
Triple-tie your shoelaces
Learn to play >>chopsticks<< on the piano.
Increase your typing speed by three words a minute.
Jaywalk in a pedestrian zone.
Set all your clocks to exactly the right time.
Whisper a white lie when no one's listening.
Fantasize about your partner.
Use a different thickness comb.
Say >>yo<< instead of >>hello<<.
HOld the phone up to your other ear.
Tell someone your middle name.
Try a new sandwich filling.
Leave work five minutes early.
Bookmark a new website.
Give your genitalia pet names.
Decide which one of your toes is the prettiest.
Insult an insect.
Go on a one-minute hunger strike.